since my favorite work of teaching started , I have been avoiding lot of 'other things' lately, 'other things' don't include any people or friends , for they are already 'avoided' enough(!) in past 5 years.
Here the 'avoidance' comes with great GUILT though not repentance.
The 'kitchen report' gave glimpse of certain expecations hovering above my head-to get A laid back sarkari naukri (now, pressure mounding with ANY sarkari naukri). With my new job in old-stlye work (of teaching) I'm though convinced enough to be a part of 'sarkari school' no matter come, what may!
Please note, it's not the 'laid back' environ, or incessant sessions of chai , or even 'armchair style' work that convinces me to be a part of govt.instiltutions.
Harshita always says, we are meant to teach, I nodded always though with a doubt; folks want(ed) best of the best for me(most comfortable future ( (gadi, bangla, naukar)with loads of travel opportunities-yea!he knows what flows in my veins.) and I followed his dreams with dreamy eyes filled in hope of being THE ONE,someday.
You know, I have always believed that destiny comes your way, and you get and become -what you are meant to be. This(not clearing 'country's most sought after exam') was a signal perhaps, to get back to my old yet most comfortable shoes. :D And, I did not realize it until before today( as I write this) how CONTENT I feel with the work-place.
I have received 'attention' which I had sough for in past 2 workplaces. Open air corridors and sweet smell of mud with incessant heavy rains, can never be replaced by huge palatial air-conditioned classrooms where I hardly managed to take fresh breath. Yes! very unlike city-person,
Teaching and Open woods is what should be the focal , - that's how I'd describe my upcoming life. :-)The journey probably has begun.. .
The real teaching happens outside textbooks they say- but the 'merit system' to get through colleges , leaves no other way for my girls than to remember by heart few facts and rest my-told tales.. Yeah! the subject gives me WIDE scope to interpret the 'text' in most easy ways- let me come up with new post to give inside -the -classroom glimpse( It would be MORE than that *winks* ) ..
I remember how coffee got me always HIGH, but, a new reason to feel that BuzZzz again, and it isn't the temporary one this time. I have missed 'the things' and in past half hour even the little felt guilt seems to have vanished. I have given -A-Miss.. to the dreams of my father, a -miss to the 'desires' I sought once, to live in 'comfort' , A- miss- to the expectations of friends -some of whom thought-I could be that - One big afsaar!
While, giving all above a miss- i also broke the shackles that I started living almost comfortably -in.. .With breaking these 'self imposed' chains, I Return to my inner-most desire to Teach and Learn and to Teach back to those with 'quest to evolve' or to shake-a few who sleep without desires-not many!
I live this 'unseen dream' today; I give-a-miss to many of the 'seen' but, the smile persists with the surprise of the Destiny which someone up above has created Beautifully for me ......... .. :)
--- from the desk of aspiring Educator (...striving for perfection),
dedicated to the The Motivated(/ing) ones- my Ma, and dearest Harshita.
No comments:
Post a Comment